What's love got to do with it?

I've been witnessing a neighborhood romance for the past few weeks. They are pretty open with their public displays of affection, almost more than anyone wants to see! It made me think about how I handled relationships in my youth, and that need I felt to be loved. Of course, it brought me to the question of why do we do it?

The couple I mentioned has a kind of manic need for contact. I get the sense that there is not much substance to their encounter other than a physical attraction. I realize that I've been in those kind of relationships too. And I feel a kind of sadness for them because of my experiences. Usually, after the physical attraction wears off, there isn't much reason to stay together. Yet, some people cling to relationships that are wrong for them, where there is abuse (emotional and/or physical) or where there is no love or passion. They profess their love for their partner, and it somehow makes it okay.

But what is really holding them together? I think that fear of the unknown holds us back. Knowing what the situation is - good or bad - is better than trying something different. This fear is stronger than a physical fear because it permeates our cells continuously. We become a slave to it without realizing what's going on. Taking a risk is unthinkable... "play it safe", "don't rock the boat". We've all heard those cliches.

But wouldn't life be grand if we took a chance? Maybe just a small step that tells ourselves that we are not afraid to experience all that life has to offer! Doing something that is not routine is a good start. Here's an example... many of us feel uncomfortable going to lunch alone. So uncomfortable that we would rather skip lunch than walk into a restaurant by ourselves. For the next few weeks, go to lunch at least once a week by yourself. Take a book to read while waiting to be served, or simply observe others in the restaurant. Then when the food comes, really concentrate on eating it, being grateful for how it was prepared and served. It is amazing how freeing this is! It can be a first step towards living a fuller life!

I think small steps like this show us how much we mean to ourselves. And over time help us avoid those clinging, unsatisfying relationships. Peace and love...